For the last year I have gone through a very dark night of the soul. I’ve lost friends through circumstance and re-locations. I’ve dealt with my husband’s illness and handicap. I’ve managed to cope. But the darkness swirls around in my heart and soul with a life of its own. It seeps into every nook and cranny. It makes me short tempered and withdrawn. It makes me doubt myself.

I learn much from the world around me. It teaches us all many lessons, if we but take time to listen. Thus I know that the light will follow this dark. My spirit will be refreshed again and ready to tackle the challenges that come my way. I know this with every fiber of my being. But the darkness swirls and billows and whispers to me with the sweet voice of a lover. The darkness in my soul has a list of my faults and shortcomings that it delights in reading to me. 

My husband is hard of hearing and so has the television on full blast all day. He is a news junkie and the voices of news reporters and commentator’s fill the house with doom and gloom everyday. Only when I leave for work do I escape the constant drone of bad news.

At work the atmosphere is anything but hopeful. We are all encompassed in this recession/depression, it is a source of constant discussion in the breakroom and on the factory floor.

There seems to be no escape from the negativity that is feeding my gloomy mood and giving it life. It has become a thought form in a sense, and I am the object of its affection. It is like a stalker that I can’t hide from.

I have spent the last few days outdoors, working in the garden. The darkness lifts when I work with soil and plants. It is a grounding for me that works better than any other. I have sought seclusion in my room tonight to avoid the contamination of news reports and analysis as I sought seclusion during the day in my garden.

In these troubled times, with so many of us worried about the future, I am sure there are many also suffering from a dark night of the soul. Cling tight to your personal Truth. Wrap youself in the cloak of the Creator. Believe that as in nature, dawn will follow this long, dark night.

I stand facing the East, Quarter of knowledge and thought, and I wait for the light to break the horizion, the rising sun whos light will wash away the darkness of this long, dark night of the Soul.

Blessed Be