Look Inside


When faced with adversity we often look outward for help. Many times another person or professional is where we need to turn to get the assistance we need. This can be a good friend, a physician, attorney, clergy, or another who has the experience or expertise the situation requires.

We all also have a still, soft voice inside that we can turn to for guidance. This is our spiritual voice. It can vary according to ones faith or belief system. Still, whatever you believe and whatever God or Goddess you worship, that voice is there.

In my faith we believe in a God and Goddess. Duality, male and female, as necessary for all life and existence. I pray to both. In my mind there are some things better suited to the God’s particular powers and still other things best handled by the Goddess Herself. In some instances the situation is so complicated and convoluted that I ask each to lend a hand to assure the outcome is the correct one for me.

Sometimes the correct outcome for me is not even anything I had imagined. Sometimes, in Their attempt to have me grow in knowledge, wisdom, and faith it is not an outcome I would have wanted. Still, it is the correct one for me at that time.

In my faith, Wicca, we believe that the Goddess and God are present in each of us and in everything else in the Universe as well. They are not in some far-away place where we will someday get to go. They are here, inside and all around us, now and always. Their voices are the whispers heard on the wind, the warmth of the sun on your face, the sound of rain on the leaves during a summer shower. They can be heard in the sound of waves breaking against the shore, a roaring waterfall, a babbling brook deep in the forest. Always and forever they are around and inside us, for we are Their children.

They guide us and push us gently in the right direction, never dragging us behind them as unruly children (although we often are), but encouraging us to try new things, to fall and get up again, to learn and grow.

As a part of us, they are always with us. All we have to do sometimes is look inside.


A More or Less “Normal” Day

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Today, well it’s after midnight so technically, yesterday, was a fairly normal day. I worked really hard at suppressing worry and anxiety and got a few things done. The work-night went by fairly quickly and was uneventful.

I had taken my cat, Tigger, to the vet Monday and left him. His bladder difficulties had returned and his life was like one of those “going / growing problem” ads on tv. The vet called this morning to say it was a recurrence of a bladder infection he had earlier this month. He was giving him antibiotics and would keep him until tomorrow for observation. Tigger comes home in the morning and I know he will be glad to be home. We will sure be glad to have him back. He is a baby-doll of a cat.

My nerves have settled down tremendously. I still have “moments” but tell myself to chill. I promise that when this is all settled I will write in great detail about it. Right now, I’m just keeping it to myself to see how things go. I fear my situation is not an isolated incident and if so, the blogosphere and world needs to know so others will be aware that it can happen to them. When that day arrives, the post will have the case in a big headline and I will do all I can do to see that the word gets out.

As for now, it is almost 1 a.m. and a gentle rain is falling on my mountain home. The cats are gathering around, giving me the look that means “put away the computer and lets go to bed.” I think they have the right idea.

Until next time, be blessed.

A Plan In Action

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I saw an attorney today and after looking over my paperwork, he assured me that I was correct. He also assured me that it could and would be taken care of. It will be about two weeks until we can really move forward, but, I was told to stop worrying, stop losing sleep, and to stop being stressed, that it was going to be okay.

It still hasn’t completely sunk in yet, but I’m getting there on the calm down thing. Thanks to all for bearing with these last few crazy posts.

A Plan

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After spending the best part of yesterday pulling out bankers boxes from the basement and going through reams of saved papers, I found most of what I was looking for.

I learned that my gut feeling is correct, there is something amiss in a contract I’m under. Armed with this information, I know I have to call a lawyer and let someone other than me handle it from here on out. I’ll be setting that appointment up tomorrow.

Now for the hard part. I have to tell my brain to let it go, stop obsessing, stop the anxiety and depression, stop worrying. I’m finding that almost impossible to do, and yet, I must.

One day next week I will turn the mundane, physical evidence over to a contract lawyer. Today I have to turn the mental, spiritual part of my anguish at being cheated over to the Goddess and God.

Late Night Blogging. . .Again

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I am a morning person by nature. However, for the last ten years I have worked “second” shift, those hours from mid-afternoon until around midnight and thus am often up and about while others sleep. Right now I have some personal worries which I won’t discuss here. Enough to say they are distracting me during most of my waking hours and especially while I’m at work.

While I know deep down inside that all will work out, I still have my tendency to obsess over things and worry over things until my brain speeds along at thousands of miles per hour going over and over the same internal conversation. These are the times I fear for my sanity (if I ever had any). 

An old friend of mine used to call this “the paralysis of analysis.” He had it right, for when my brain kicks into anxiety mode and tries to analyse every detail of what might happen and when, I may as well be paralysed.

So tonight as ready myself for a few hours sleep, I’m asking the Goddess, God and Creator to aid me in putting my restless mind to rest and let me decide on a plan of action and then act on it without this constant droning of circling thoughts.

May all my readers be blessed in all that they undertake to do. Bright Blessings to all.

Monday Again…Back to the Real World

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After deciding I really did need some “me time” and taking a long weekend, I woke up this morning to the realization that it IS Monday and I have to return to work and the mundane world, again.

At my age and with the hard physical work I’ve done all my life, I often awaken with arthritis pain in every joint, with the added topping of carpal tunnel pain in my right hand and arm. This is one of those days. However, I know that moving around the cottage and a few cups of strong coffee will help, so I’m not to worried…just annoyed.

I have spent time this weekend in prayer for friends in need of divine assistance. These are Christian friends of mine, some know my religious beliefs others do not. One gentleman I have never met, but I know his wife from FaceBook, another is a friend on FB who is riding an emotional roller coaster right now (been there, done that), another is a neighbor who is battling cancer. I spoke with him Saturday afternoon. The chemo is getting him down and he sounded really tired and at the verge of giving up. I pray many times a day for these folks and for my own husband. I pray often for others, members of my family, friends, the country I love, and sometimes I even toss in a request for me.

When I pray I always let the Deity I am praying to know first and foremost, that I honor and praise them. It just doesn’t seem right to start out requesting something without at first letting them know that you realise that they are all powerful and are the only ones you know can help. My thoughts, just my thoughts.

I am fighting hard to hold off a sense of impending doom for our great nation. With every news report and new program our government proposes, that feeling grows stronger. I have written to representatives, as have others, and they take no heed to our wishes. I fear my great-grandchildren will never know the county of freedom and opportunity I have enjoyed. It makes me sad to feel this way. It makes me glad I am old. I won’t have to live that many years under the changes that are taking place. I won’t have many years to yearn for the United States that once was.

But, its Monday and I have chores to do and it won’t be many hours until time to go to work. Monday, again.

A Good Day

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It has been a beautiful day, a few clouds and mild temperatures and a sweet breeze to give things a lift. Our weekend outing was to the grand opening of a local Tractor Supply Company store. My husband and I both grew up on farms and enjoyed the exibit of old farm tractors owned by local farmers. Some were show tractors, but one at least is still used to cultivate the land. We had a nice chat with the farmer who owns it about the weather and farming. After checking out the store we grabbed a bite to eat before heading home. Nothing exciting, just a nice little shopping trip.

I spent to better part of the afternoon attempting to get video footage and/or still pictures of hummingbirds. I ran my camera battery down and of course after I put it on charge, more and more hummers showed up. I’ll try again tomorrow. I did get some neat footage of gold finches on a feeder, a hummingbird sitting on a tree branch, and a baby rabbit who was just passing through our yard.

The remainder of the evening we have been sitting on the front porch watching the birds and small animals and listening to mourning doves cooing in the distance. It has been a peaceful day. It has been a good day.

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